TFORMERS
Once upon a time in the not-too-distant future (in distant days longing to sense it all so clear):
Seen (finally and I can now stop talking about it): Transformers
Bumblebee peed on one of the humans- which is the worst part of the movie.
Other than that it is a solid B-Movie, the kind that is related to Godzilla and other monster movies. You can complain about all the faults of the movie all day and have still some left over to talk about the next day. There are plot holes aplenty; some pretty far fetched coincidences, lapses in logic, some fake looking CGI at times, an abrupt ending but then again, you have to remind yourself that you are watching a summer movie about giant robots.
Movies about giant robots for now are nothing but spectacle, explosions and looking cool. You need a lot more movies about giant robots smashing stuff before you can get something with more depth like the Gundam and Macross franchises (which yes- both have some pretty stupid entries, but for the most part, they take an uncompromising look on war and the effect is has on all sides).
So- giant robots bashing each other and the fleshlings stuck in the middle.
I have an inkling that this movie will soon be the cool movie to hate- like how Star Wars and Star Trek are treated nowadays.
The Bad and the cheesy:
Reviews of the film from some of the hardcore fans. Were there that many latch key kids out there that grew up watching this movie? Reading the fan reviews, so many of them refer to Optimus Prime as the father figure who taught them how to live life. I did not get that. Prime was cool-yes, but I do not remember any life lessons imparted upon me when I watched the show.
Exactly how did the Secretary of Defense and friends defeat Frenzy?
Jazz- he will never live up to his profile. He was always listed as the head of Special Operations with operatives of his own (and taking the most dangerous missions himself) and an expert on learning alien cultures. None of his incarnations have ever exploited that. He is essentially the Jack Bauer/James Bond of the Autobots who hides his capabilities behind his cool exterior. But he gets ripped in half?
Megan Fox = Butter Face. Sorry, but it has to be said. Plus how many of you saw that her hotwiring skills would be put into use later on?
Robots in Disguise: Just look for the (mostly) garishly coloured vehicles if you want to find the Autobots (bright green ambulance, bright yellow car and yes- the Peterbilt with the flames). If you still cannot find them, they can be seen hanging out in FULL robot form at Griffith Park in broad day light. Like there are not always a million people there. At least the Decepticons mean business both in robot and alternate forms (even the boombox bot who I was worried would be an annoying gremlin but turned out to be more effective as a spy and menace).
Decepticons = Daleks. They just live for their purpose, which is to serve their leader Megatron and EXTERMINATE stuff. But at least they did it well.
Sparkplug Witwicky and Wife: The parents of Spike (never Sam) were annoying as hell and I hated how the movie ended with them hamming it up. Plus I am disappointed that a giant foot did not squish Bernie Mac.
Transforming noise was only used once. Although in my head it was used all the time the alternated forms.
They did not utilize the original theme song anywhere in the movie.
“We are autonomous robotic organisms from the planet Cybertron but can call us Autobots for short.” – I am glad that there is no explanation as to why their nemeses were called Decepticons. Or why giant alien robots had names like Jazz or Ratchet.
Bumble Pee. Nuff Said. I just wish they lit John Turturro on fire while they were at it.
That abrupt end to the battle of down town Los Angeles. At the last second Spike shoves the Allspark up Megatron’s chest and it just happens to destroy him? Makes no sense doing such a risky move.
Some bad CGI: especially at the end scene when it was too obvious.
The good:
The Transformers in general: For the most part, the GCI worked and the bots looked great. The designs grew unto me and they did work and were believable.
Optimus Prime: Just awesome. It would not be a Transformers film without him and more importantly the voice of Peter Cullen. I think he sounded more like a benign Venger than the original Prime, but it was still unmistakably Optimus Prime, lips and all, which did not bug me at all. Plus, was that the Matrix in his chest?
Autobots, Roll Out! - This phrase was used very effectively.
The Autobots. Great idea to make them the underdogs and out numbered. It was very effective how they sacrificed so much in protecting Spike and holding back against the Decepticons so that collateral damage is kept to a minimum. Although their characters were not defined, there was enough in each to give them individual personalities unlike the Decepticons (with the exception of Megatron, even Starscream was just a lackey until the end when he retreated leaving his compatriots to rot at the bottom of the ocean).
The ride home on the freeway: Okay, how many of you thought that black mustang in the fast lane was going to start walking all of a sudden?
The Battle of Down Town Los Angeles: is there anything left? Michael Bay needs to do The Authority as his next movie.
The inevitable sequel: Constructicons, Dinobots and Soundwave, oh, my? Yes, please. That one video online of Grimlock smashing his way through a building was just too cool.
“ARE YOU LADIESMAN217?”- Funniest line in the movie. As long it is said by a giant robot in an evil, threatening voice.
OVERALL:
I give the movie a solid B. Turn your brain off and discuss the inconsistencies later. But when the movie is on, it was definitely fun to watch.
So what is next for movies based on eighties nostalgia? TMNT came first and was a better movie overall.
GI Joe would be cool- but nothing new as we have all seen movies with ninjas and commandoes (honestly, I was surprised that the army dudes in Transformers did not end up being Joes, actually the movie would have been better it they were- that one dude from the show Las Vegas could have been Duke or Hawk, the ‘Bring It!’ dude was already Road Block, the Hispanic dude, Shipwreck- the spin off would have Megan Fox growing up to be Scarlet, Andrew from Buffy as Mainframe, the Aussie Hottie as Cover Girl, someone brand new as Lady Jaye, Bruce Campbell as Flint and introducing Snake Eyes and the inevitable ridiculous technology of Cobra being based on Cybertronian tech). And no GI Joe movie (live or otherwise) will ever match the awesomeness of the opening sequence of the GI Joe animated movie where they save the Statue of Liberty.
A He-Man movie was already done and a new one would just be as cheesy, no matter how hard you tried.
A Voltron movie would just look like a Power Rangers Movie.
And despite not being an eighties franchise, the upcoming Street Fighter movie would just piss me off as they would cast either a white chick as my favourite character (and supposed lead) Chun Li (they really want Jessica Biel?) or have someone without risk play her like Lucy Lui or Zhang Ziyi or flavour of the day Maggie Q or heaven forbid- Devon Aoki. I would prefer an unknown (or Fann Wong from Shanghai Knights or Grace Park from Battlestar Galactica or even Miriam Yeung or Cecelia Chung or Maggie Q’s HK buddy Anya- but I think these actresses are already all too old to play a young Chun Li; I think one of the HK pop duo from Twins, Charlene Choi or preferably Gillian Chung would do a good job if they play it seriously- they have shown to be able to fake the kung fu pretty well; but my dream actress to play the role would have to be China Chow, if only to see her again on the big screen).
Thundercats? Um, no- unlike the other popular eighties toy franchises (and M.A.S.K. was never popular), this property had no depth to it and the story cannot really go anywhere.
So for movies based on eighties nostalgia, I am only looking forward to the follow ups to Transformers and TMNT only if they can move forward with the story they came up with and not rehash what came before.
And speaking of rehashing:
Also Seen: The Protector with Tony Jaa
If you have seen Ong-Bak, you have seen this movie. Except this movie has a downer ending because [spoiler alert] his beloved elephant is skeletonized. You see how precious his pachyderms are to him (and to Thai culture) and the moment you see the skeleton just pisses you off. Most the fights are too choreographed, the stunts done better before and for me the only highlight was the fight at the temple when he has to battle three different opponents who use different fighting styles. The much talked about four minute single shot was just bleh to me. The pacing is frustrating and made what little plot there was incomprehensible, but then again I saw the US cut and have yet to see the international cut which hopefully make more sense but I am not hoping for much (as I found the US cut of Ong-Bak better than the original Thai cut).
Tony Jaa made a breakthrough with Ong-Bak but went nowhere with the Protector. He has the skills and the potential for his acting was there in the moments he had to emote. He just needs a movie with an effective story and/or hook to propel him forward. Jackie Chan did it with his movies veering into comedy and the comic vulnerability and imagination in his action scenes. Jet Li did it with his nationalistic and spiritual movies. Even Donnie Yen has done it, playing risky characters like the unlikable cop he played in Sha Po Lang and playing smaller but very memorable roles like he did in Hero.
Tony Jaa’s next movie is a sequel to Ong-Bak, which sounds like another step backward for him. Mindless martial arts films can be super fun (see Drunken Master and Fist of Legend and the original Ong-Bak), just please do not photocopy the fight scenes and story structure of your previous film and call it a new film.
A disappointing C-minus (although the temple fight by itself gets an A).
Seen (finally and I can now stop talking about it): Transformers
Bumblebee peed on one of the humans- which is the worst part of the movie.
Other than that it is a solid B-Movie, the kind that is related to Godzilla and other monster movies. You can complain about all the faults of the movie all day and have still some left over to talk about the next day. There are plot holes aplenty; some pretty far fetched coincidences, lapses in logic, some fake looking CGI at times, an abrupt ending but then again, you have to remind yourself that you are watching a summer movie about giant robots.
Movies about giant robots for now are nothing but spectacle, explosions and looking cool. You need a lot more movies about giant robots smashing stuff before you can get something with more depth like the Gundam and Macross franchises (which yes- both have some pretty stupid entries, but for the most part, they take an uncompromising look on war and the effect is has on all sides).
So- giant robots bashing each other and the fleshlings stuck in the middle.
I have an inkling that this movie will soon be the cool movie to hate- like how Star Wars and Star Trek are treated nowadays.
The Bad and the cheesy:
Reviews of the film from some of the hardcore fans. Were there that many latch key kids out there that grew up watching this movie? Reading the fan reviews, so many of them refer to Optimus Prime as the father figure who taught them how to live life. I did not get that. Prime was cool-yes, but I do not remember any life lessons imparted upon me when I watched the show.
Exactly how did the Secretary of Defense and friends defeat Frenzy?
Jazz- he will never live up to his profile. He was always listed as the head of Special Operations with operatives of his own (and taking the most dangerous missions himself) and an expert on learning alien cultures. None of his incarnations have ever exploited that. He is essentially the Jack Bauer/James Bond of the Autobots who hides his capabilities behind his cool exterior. But he gets ripped in half?
Megan Fox = Butter Face. Sorry, but it has to be said. Plus how many of you saw that her hotwiring skills would be put into use later on?
Robots in Disguise: Just look for the (mostly) garishly coloured vehicles if you want to find the Autobots (bright green ambulance, bright yellow car and yes- the Peterbilt with the flames). If you still cannot find them, they can be seen hanging out in FULL robot form at Griffith Park in broad day light. Like there are not always a million people there. At least the Decepticons mean business both in robot and alternate forms (even the boombox bot who I was worried would be an annoying gremlin but turned out to be more effective as a spy and menace).
Decepticons = Daleks. They just live for their purpose, which is to serve their leader Megatron and EXTERMINATE stuff. But at least they did it well.
Sparkplug Witwicky and Wife: The parents of Spike (never Sam) were annoying as hell and I hated how the movie ended with them hamming it up. Plus I am disappointed that a giant foot did not squish Bernie Mac.
Transforming noise was only used once. Although in my head it was used all the time the alternated forms.
They did not utilize the original theme song anywhere in the movie.
“We are autonomous robotic organisms from the planet Cybertron but can call us Autobots for short.” – I am glad that there is no explanation as to why their nemeses were called Decepticons. Or why giant alien robots had names like Jazz or Ratchet.
Bumble Pee. Nuff Said. I just wish they lit John Turturro on fire while they were at it.
That abrupt end to the battle of down town Los Angeles. At the last second Spike shoves the Allspark up Megatron’s chest and it just happens to destroy him? Makes no sense doing such a risky move.
Some bad CGI: especially at the end scene when it was too obvious.
The good:
The Transformers in general: For the most part, the GCI worked and the bots looked great. The designs grew unto me and they did work and were believable.
Optimus Prime: Just awesome. It would not be a Transformers film without him and more importantly the voice of Peter Cullen. I think he sounded more like a benign Venger than the original Prime, but it was still unmistakably Optimus Prime, lips and all, which did not bug me at all. Plus, was that the Matrix in his chest?
Autobots, Roll Out! - This phrase was used very effectively.
The Autobots. Great idea to make them the underdogs and out numbered. It was very effective how they sacrificed so much in protecting Spike and holding back against the Decepticons so that collateral damage is kept to a minimum. Although their characters were not defined, there was enough in each to give them individual personalities unlike the Decepticons (with the exception of Megatron, even Starscream was just a lackey until the end when he retreated leaving his compatriots to rot at the bottom of the ocean).
The ride home on the freeway: Okay, how many of you thought that black mustang in the fast lane was going to start walking all of a sudden?
The Battle of Down Town Los Angeles: is there anything left? Michael Bay needs to do The Authority as his next movie.
The inevitable sequel: Constructicons, Dinobots and Soundwave, oh, my? Yes, please. That one video online of Grimlock smashing his way through a building was just too cool.
“ARE YOU LADIESMAN217?”- Funniest line in the movie. As long it is said by a giant robot in an evil, threatening voice.
OVERALL:
I give the movie a solid B. Turn your brain off and discuss the inconsistencies later. But when the movie is on, it was definitely fun to watch.
So what is next for movies based on eighties nostalgia? TMNT came first and was a better movie overall.
GI Joe would be cool- but nothing new as we have all seen movies with ninjas and commandoes (honestly, I was surprised that the army dudes in Transformers did not end up being Joes, actually the movie would have been better it they were- that one dude from the show Las Vegas could have been Duke or Hawk, the ‘Bring It!’ dude was already Road Block, the Hispanic dude, Shipwreck- the spin off would have Megan Fox growing up to be Scarlet, Andrew from Buffy as Mainframe, the Aussie Hottie as Cover Girl, someone brand new as Lady Jaye, Bruce Campbell as Flint and introducing Snake Eyes and the inevitable ridiculous technology of Cobra being based on Cybertronian tech). And no GI Joe movie (live or otherwise) will ever match the awesomeness of the opening sequence of the GI Joe animated movie where they save the Statue of Liberty.
A He-Man movie was already done and a new one would just be as cheesy, no matter how hard you tried.
A Voltron movie would just look like a Power Rangers Movie.
And despite not being an eighties franchise, the upcoming Street Fighter movie would just piss me off as they would cast either a white chick as my favourite character (and supposed lead) Chun Li (they really want Jessica Biel?) or have someone without risk play her like Lucy Lui or Zhang Ziyi or flavour of the day Maggie Q or heaven forbid- Devon Aoki. I would prefer an unknown (or Fann Wong from Shanghai Knights or Grace Park from Battlestar Galactica or even Miriam Yeung or Cecelia Chung or Maggie Q’s HK buddy Anya- but I think these actresses are already all too old to play a young Chun Li; I think one of the HK pop duo from Twins, Charlene Choi or preferably Gillian Chung would do a good job if they play it seriously- they have shown to be able to fake the kung fu pretty well; but my dream actress to play the role would have to be China Chow, if only to see her again on the big screen).
Thundercats? Um, no- unlike the other popular eighties toy franchises (and M.A.S.K. was never popular), this property had no depth to it and the story cannot really go anywhere.
So for movies based on eighties nostalgia, I am only looking forward to the follow ups to Transformers and TMNT only if they can move forward with the story they came up with and not rehash what came before.
And speaking of rehashing:
Also Seen: The Protector with Tony Jaa
If you have seen Ong-Bak, you have seen this movie. Except this movie has a downer ending because [spoiler alert] his beloved elephant is skeletonized. You see how precious his pachyderms are to him (and to Thai culture) and the moment you see the skeleton just pisses you off. Most the fights are too choreographed, the stunts done better before and for me the only highlight was the fight at the temple when he has to battle three different opponents who use different fighting styles. The much talked about four minute single shot was just bleh to me. The pacing is frustrating and made what little plot there was incomprehensible, but then again I saw the US cut and have yet to see the international cut which hopefully make more sense but I am not hoping for much (as I found the US cut of Ong-Bak better than the original Thai cut).
Tony Jaa made a breakthrough with Ong-Bak but went nowhere with the Protector. He has the skills and the potential for his acting was there in the moments he had to emote. He just needs a movie with an effective story and/or hook to propel him forward. Jackie Chan did it with his movies veering into comedy and the comic vulnerability and imagination in his action scenes. Jet Li did it with his nationalistic and spiritual movies. Even Donnie Yen has done it, playing risky characters like the unlikable cop he played in Sha Po Lang and playing smaller but very memorable roles like he did in Hero.
Tony Jaa’s next movie is a sequel to Ong-Bak, which sounds like another step backward for him. Mindless martial arts films can be super fun (see Drunken Master and Fist of Legend and the original Ong-Bak), just please do not photocopy the fight scenes and story structure of your previous film and call it a new film.
A disappointing C-minus (although the temple fight by itself gets an A).
posted by Catterpillarboy at 4:12 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home