Chuck Sucks
January Something, 2007 (and we are almost into February too- what’s up with that?)
Chuck Norris was in town this past weekend. I have memories growing up of his b-movies and I know the locals love him because of his TV show. But there is only one Texas Ranger out there buddy, and his name if Jim Reid. High yo, freaking Silver.
Anyway, I used to love those facts that people out there (and apparently he did too) until I found out that Chuck does not believe in evolution. Never trust a man who does not believe in evolution. Who knew he was just another Jesus Freak? Nothing against Jesus Freaks by the way, just either stay away from me or do not try to sell your views on to me.
And besides, Chuck apparently does fear two men (one, obviously, is Jesus). The other one is Jack Bauer.
Taken from various places online:
1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.
There were originally five horsemen of the apocalypse. Jack Bauer said he would travel by foot.
Jack Bauer sleeps with a gun under the pillow. But he could kill you with the pillow.
When life hands Jack Bauer Lemons, he kills Terrorists. Jack Bauer hates lemonade.
As a boy, Jack Bauer interrogated his parents on Easter until they revealed the location and contents of each hidden egg.
Nostradamus once predicted in his journal: "In the century 21st, the one known as Jacques will be the savior of the world... five seasons in a row." Moments later, Jack Bauer knocked down the door, shot Nostradamus in the kneecaps, and yelled "WHO ARE YOU WORKING FOR?!"
Jack Bauer is the reason Waldo is hiding.
The only thing elephants used to fear was mice. Until they hurt one of Jack Bauer's friends.
Under intense interrogation by Jack Bauer, the fifth dentist cracked and admitted he recommends Trident for his patients who chew gum.
Jack Bauer helped U-2 find what they were looking for.
_______________________________________________________________________
http://www.myspace.com/catterpillarboy
http://catterpillarboy.blogspot.com/
http://catterpillarboy.livejournal.com
Chuck Norris was in town this past weekend. I have memories growing up of his b-movies and I know the locals love him because of his TV show. But there is only one Texas Ranger out there buddy, and his name if Jim Reid. High yo, freaking Silver.
Anyway, I used to love those facts that people out there (and apparently he did too) until I found out that Chuck does not believe in evolution. Never trust a man who does not believe in evolution. Who knew he was just another Jesus Freak? Nothing against Jesus Freaks by the way, just either stay away from me or do not try to sell your views on to me.
And besides, Chuck apparently does fear two men (one, obviously, is Jesus). The other one is Jack Bauer.
Taken from various places online:
1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.
There were originally five horsemen of the apocalypse. Jack Bauer said he would travel by foot.
Jack Bauer sleeps with a gun under the pillow. But he could kill you with the pillow.
When life hands Jack Bauer Lemons, he kills Terrorists. Jack Bauer hates lemonade.
As a boy, Jack Bauer interrogated his parents on Easter until they revealed the location and contents of each hidden egg.
Nostradamus once predicted in his journal: "In the century 21st, the one known as Jacques will be the savior of the world... five seasons in a row." Moments later, Jack Bauer knocked down the door, shot Nostradamus in the kneecaps, and yelled "WHO ARE YOU WORKING FOR?!"
Jack Bauer is the reason Waldo is hiding.
The only thing elephants used to fear was mice. Until they hurt one of Jack Bauer's friends.
Under intense interrogation by Jack Bauer, the fifth dentist cracked and admitted he recommends Trident for his patients who chew gum.
Jack Bauer helped U-2 find what they were looking for.
_______________________________________________________________________
http://www.myspace.com/catterpillarboy
http://catterpillarboy.blogspot.com/
http://catterpillarboy.livejournal.com
posted by Catterpillarboy at 3:40 AM
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